The idea of “finding time” is a silly one, don’t you think? There are only 24 hours in a day and no matter where you look you won’t find any more, so if something is a priority then you have to make the time for it, by clearing your schedule of other less essential obligations.

But making time for each other is increasingly difficult for modern couples. Our over-filled calendars and mounting responsibilities have us feeling that any time we’re not working, if we’re under the same roof as our loved one, then we’re “spending time together”… right? Wrong. It takes a little more effort than that. So, whether or not you’re a fan of Valentine’s Day, you can use it as a reminder to carve out some quality time with your main squeeze. Here’s how:

1. Love always… but do it on schedule. It may not seem romantic, but carving out time for one another is actually a very loving gesture. Planning ahead will mean you’re less likely to miss out on couple time because work ran late or the other obligations that did make it on to your calendar ended up taking precedence. Block out some time – and book it! – not just for Valentine’s day, but every week or two thereafter. Seeing that date on your calendar will not only give you something fun to look forward to, the anticipation will help you feel more connected.

2. Get in line. Aligning your schedules at home isn’t always possible, but the intimacy it cultivates is worth the effort. Making an effort to go to bed at the same time so you have the chance for some pillow talk (or something… ), or creating a daily ritual like having your morning coffee together will help bond you to your partner. Take a look at your schedules and see where you can make them line up every day.

3. Find something you both like doing and commit to it… together. Shared activities are a great way to keep things exciting between you and your honey, so make a commitment to something you both enjoy. Whether it’s just for fun, like a playing or watching sports together, or it gives back to your community, like a volunteering at a local charity, doing something positive together on a regular basis requires planning. Remember, in any relationship, compromise is key, but don’t agree to an activity that makes you miserable, as this will only lead to tension and resentment. Find something you both enjoy and get it on your calendar.

Keep the lines of communication – and all your possibilities – open, by apprising your partner of any changes to your schedule. If you know what the other person is up to, not only does it makes it easier to manage your time together, it also makes it possible to be spontaneous. Make your relationship a priority and give it the space on your calendar it deserves.

Help our readers have a happy Valentine’s Day by sharing one ritual that you and your love make time for together.